Sunday 18 December 2011

CARING FOR EDUCATION & BELIEF SYSTEM


From the Industrial Age we have now entered the Information Age. Education is very important today, but is the education given in school adequate to face the real world and its challenges? The job requirements today actually demand much more than just textbook knowledge.

A few decades back one could get school education and maybe a college degree and get a secure job and work in the same company throughout life. After retirement there was pension to take care of old age. While entering a job one knew exactly what benefits one would get for the whole job tenure and after retirement.

Today it is altogether a different story. The phrase ‘job security’ no longer exists. Formal education is not enough. Job switching is a continuous process. Companies are no more responsible for providing retirement benefits. Let me rather put it this way; you’d have to find how you will sustain yourself throughout life.

In short, good grades no more guarantee good jobs. Therefore it is time to realize this fact and take active steps. The problem does have a solution.

The solution can definitely be applied at all levels, but it would have maximum effect if begun at a very low level. Let me explain. What I mean by levels is mental maturity, or to simplify it I would consider age groups. It is easier to apply the grooming process at a younger age than an older age. This does not take away anything from the older people, but we will definitely agree that the older we get the more difficult it gets to change our beliefs and our way of thinking. Younger minds can be moulded better and easier.

Although the employment scenario is changing fast, our education system has still remained with old ideas and patterns. We know about educational breakthroughs and required changes, but for some reason or the other innovation in formal education does not seem to take place. Moreover I believe there are three types of teachers in our system. One teaches diligently and takes care of students and tries to bring about positive changes, one works diligently against any kind of change, and the third one does not bother about anything other than their own job security and money. The first type of teacher has now become as rare as precious gems.

So what do we do now? Should we lose all hope of any improvement and let pressure and stress engulf us? Should we just watch more and more students committing suicide as they are unable to keep up to expectations? I don’t think we can afford to give up. We absolutely should not give up. There is always a solution to every problem. First we need to study the problem thoroughly and the solution will automatically appear.

For example, we might be worried about not finding diligent, caring teachers. But then I have always believed that parents are the most important teachers. Children learn most by observing their parents.
Coming back to the problem of education not being adequate we will find that the solution lies in the mind. That is the most powerful thing God has given us. If we look into the word ‘education’ we will see that it comes from a Latin word ‘educare’, which means ‘to draw out’. But our system of ‘education’ believes in putting knowledge ‘in’. What we rather need to do is draw the genius ‘out’ of the mind for utilization. Now the question arises, “How do we do that?” I would again say, the answer lies in the mind itself!

Let us see how the education system affects the students. I am not talking about the details, I am concerned with the basics. Teachers punish pupils for making mistakes. Now, if you are afraid of making mistakes you will not want to do anything for fear of getting punished. There is too much emphasis on the importance of being right and the fear of being wrong. This fear prevents people from taking active steps. Here is where we begin with our solution. Parents play a big role in encouraging their children and prevent this unwanted fear to creep in. we need to inculcate a positive attitude towards education. This is the first step towards improvement.

It is my personal belief that there are two important factors in becoming successful. Human Relations Skills and Communication Skills give the winning edge to each individual. There are very few people who actually realise the importance of these two skills, let alone possess them!

The solution that we were discussing lies in these two skills – Human Relations Skills and Communication Skills. These give us the ‘right attitude’. Let me elaborate. With a positive attitude we can work our minds in the right direction which in turn will carve the way to success and happiness. On the same lines, communicating with people and building human relations skills gets incorporated into our positive attitude. So, how do we build a positive attitude?

Let us first study the prevalent ‘negativeness’ and why it is absolutely necessary to get rid of all ‘minuses’ and fill in all the ‘pluses’.

How often do we hear comments such as ‘I can’t do it’, ‘That’s impossible!’, ‘You have to kill yourself to do that’, ‘Forget it, it’s not my cup of tea’, ‘I can’t afford that car’? Very often indeed! Even these are familiar comments, ‘If you don’t study you will fail’, ‘Its going to rain today, the day will be a waste’, ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I am too poor!’

People spend too much time in speaking negative statements. Their self-perception is that of a weak, incapable, good-for-nothing person. This is where the downfall begins. But let’s cut the negative. What is most important to get rid of such negative thinking? Just one thing – BELIEF, belief in yourself, and belief in your Creator.

The power of belief is tremendous. When we believe we cannot, we are unable, just because we don’t try when we believe we cannot. On the other hand, if we use the power of ‘I Can!’ we try to find possibilities to do it. I will give you an example. I am a person who belongs to a middle-class family. I look at a small family car and I want to buy it. I realise I do not have the financial strength to buy the car. What do I immediately say to myself? I say ‘I can’t afford it’. This is what all of us say, no matter what the product is. If we don’t have the money we simply put it off by saying, ‘I can’t afford it’. This is the magic of words. The moment you say ‘I can’t’ you have a resigned feeling and drop the idea, but deep within you regret, and this regret causes that little invisible sorrow and pain and stress. Enough of this!

Let us use the magic of words differently. Let us try. The same person looks at the same car and realizes that he does not have the money to buy it. But instead of resigning to the problem he tries to find a solution. So he asks himself, ‘How can I afford it?’ Think about this for a moment. You look at a product you want to buy and you don’t have the money, and ask yourself the question, ‘How can I afford it?’

What happens? The mind starts working, trying to find out possibilities. This is the difference between negative and positive. The results are contrasting. This is where we need to begin. We need to change our self-perception and start believing that we can achieve what we want, and with God by our side we can only win!

Before I move on, I must mention that school and college education is important. This is the basic need. The fundamental learning skills have to be built. But in order to succeed in life today the other piece of the puzzle is required. Education needs to be complete.

The missing piece of the puzzle that I am talking about is within us. Galileo had remarked, “You cannot teach a person anything, you can only help him find it within himself”. That is ‘educare’, as in Latin, which, as I have mentioned previously, means ‘to draw out’. Developing attitude is all about polishing and fine tuning the skills which are already present within us. Courage, confidence, kindness, empathy, belief, faith, and name it and you have it within you. You only have to draw it out and then you will be able to utilize these qualities to achieve the highest in life.

Wednesday 14 December 2011

SOFT SKILL BHILAI: STREES MANAGEMENT

SOFT SKILL BHILAI: STREES MANAGEMENT: Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment...

Tuesday 13 December 2011

SOFT SKILL BHILAI: EMPATHY AS ONE OF THE IMPORTANT SKILLS

SOFT SKILL BHILAI: EMPATHY AS ONE OF THE IMPORTANT SKILLS: Empathy To show empathy is to identify with another's feelings. It is to emotionally put oneself in the place of another. The ability to em...

EMPATHY AS ONE OF THE IMPORTANT SKILLS


Empathy
To show empathy is to identify with another's feelings. It is to emotionally put oneself in the place of another. The ability to empathize is directly dependent on our ability to feel our own feelings and identify them.  If we have never felt a certain feeling, it will be hard for us to understand how another person is feeling. This holds equally true for pleasure and pain. If, for example, we have never put our hand in a flame, we will not know the pain of fire. Similarly, if we have never felt rebellious or defiant, we will not understand those feelings. Reading about a feeling and intellectually knowing about it is very different than actually experiencing it for our self.

Among those with an equal level of innate emotional intelligence, the person who has actually experienced the widest range and variety of feelings -- the great depths of depression and the heights of fulfillment, for example, -- is the one who is most able to empathize with the greatest number of people from all walks of life. On the other hand, when we say that someone "can't relate" to other people, it is likely because they haven't experienced, acknowledged or accepted many feelings of their own.

Once you have felt discriminated against, for example, it is much easier to relate with someone else who has been discriminated against. Our innate emotional intelligence gives us the ability to quickly recall those instances and form associations when we encounter discrimination again. We then can use the "reliving" of those emotions to guide our thinking and actions. This is one of the ways nature slowly evolves towards a higher level of survival. In other words, over time, awareness of our own feelings may lead us to treat others in a more pro-survival way.

For this process to work, the first step is that we must be able to experience our own emotions. This means we must be open to them and not distract ourselves from them or try to numb ourselves from our feelings through drugs, alcohol, etc. Next, we need to become aware of what we are actually feeling -- to acknowledge, identify, and accept our feelings. Only then can we empathize with others. That is one reason it is important to work on your own emotional awareness and sensitivity-- in other words, to be "in touch with" your feelings. -- and to help children stay in touch with their feelings.

Empathy begins with awareness of another person's feelings. It would be easier to be aware of other people's emotions if they would simply tell us how they felt. But since most people do not, we must resort to asking questions, reading between the lines, guessing, and trying to interpret non-verbal cues. Emotionally expressive people are easiest to read because their eyes and faces are constantly letting us know how they are feeling.
Once we have figured out how another person feels, we show empathy by acknowledging the emotion. We may say, for example,

-            I can see you are really uncomfortable about this.
-           I can understand why you would be upset.

We can also show empathy through a simple sign of affection such as hug or a tender touch. Though empathy is usually used in reference to sensing someone else's painful feelings, it can also apply to someone's positive feelings of success, accomplishment, pride, achievement etc. 
Therefore, it seems to make sense that while our innate emotional sensitivity gives us the ability to feel empathy, our emotional intelligence helps us decide what to do when we feel empathy and what to do when someone else's moods are affecting us too much.

Even though it may be possible to sometimes feel too much empathy, many people, including the new President of the USA, Barack Obama, believe empathy is something we could use more of in society. In fact it is likely that our human ability to empathize is one of the main ways our emotions contribute to the survival of the species.

Wednesday 7 December 2011

QUALITIES OF A GOOD COUNSELLOR



Introduction
The personal and professional qualities of counsellors are very important in facilitating any helping relationship. A counsellor must be well equipped to assist individuals to make adjustments and live a happy and harmonious life. The adjustment can be with regard to the school and curriculum, vocation and personality. For effective counseling, the counsellor must be equipped with two kinds of data. First he must have data relating to the counsellee’s background aptitudes, achievements, interests, plans etc. Further, he must have the skill to interpret this data. Secondly, the counsellor must have information about the areas in which the counsellee may seek his assistance. These areas may be educational or personal. With these two kinds of information he assists the counsellee to match his individual patterns of potentiality with appropriate opportunity. As the process of counselling develops, both the counsellor and counsellee must arrive at a common ground. Counsellor’s who continually develop their self awareness skills are in touch with their values, thoughts and feelings. They are likely to have a clear perception of their own and their client’s needs and accurately assess both. Such awareness can help them be honest with themselves and others. They are able to be more congruent and build trust simultaneously. Counsellors who possess this type of knowledge are most likely to communicate clearly accurately.

Three other characteristics that make counsellors initially more influential are perceived expertness, attractiveness and trustworthiness. Expertness is the degree to which a counsellor is perceived as knowledge able and informed about his or her specialty.  Clients went to work with counsellor who appears to know profession well.
Attractiveness is function of perceived similarity between a client and counselor. Councellors can make themselves attractive by speaking in clear, simple, jargon free sentence and offering appropriate self disclosure.
THE DESIRABLE QUALITIES OF A SCHOOL COUNSELLOR ARE THE FOLLOWING:-
1. Magnetic personality
2. Personal adjustment
3. Interpersonal relationship
4. Professional competence
5. Leadership
6. Professional dedication
7. Philosophy of life
8. Wide range of interest
Counsellors who are nonverbal cues in responding to clients, such as more nodding and eye contacts are seen as more attractive than those do not. The attire of the counsellor also make a differences, clothes should be clean, neat and professional looking but not call attention to themselves. Trustworthiness is related to the sincerity and consisting of the counselor. The counsellor is genuinely concerned about the client and shows it over time by establishing a close relationship with the client. “There is and can be no such thing as instant intimacy” or trustworthiness. Rather, both are generated through patterns of behavior that demonstrate are and concern most clients are neither completely distrusting nor given to blind trust. But, as Fong and Cox note, many clients test the trustworthiness of the counsellor, deprecating themselves or questioning the motives and dedication the counsellor.
It is essential, therefore, that the counsellor responds to the question of trust rather than the verbal content of the client in order to facilitate the counselling relationship. Many beginning counsellors make the mistake of dealing with surface issues instead of real concerns. For example if a client asks a counsellor, “Can I feel you anything “. A novice counsellor might respond, “what do you mean by anything”? An experienced counsellor might say, it sounds as if you are uncertain about whether you can really trust me and this relationship. A good counsellor must have the knowledge of mental hygiene and the skill to interpret psychological tests. This is essential to from a correct, reliable and objective assessment of the personality of the counselee.
Conclusion
An important quality of a counesllor is that he like and respects himself, but he does not use the counsellee to satisfy his own needs. Every normal human being has a desire to be respected, recognized and accepted. Then the counselor must qualities of good personality, good character and wholesome philosophy, health, emotional stability, approachability, sympathic understanding of youth, intelligence, social culture, broad knowledge and interest in guidance and personal working conditions and understanding of social economic conditions. They above given qualities must be possessed by a counsellor.
REFERENCES
1.Psychological Base of Education, Dr. A. Antony.
2.Guidance and Counselling, Indore Madhukar.
3. Guidance and Counselling, Ramanath Sharma.
Prepared by :Sr. Simimol